Jokes

10 ADVANTAGES of Having GUN over WIFE

by bigboss in Adult

10 ADVANTAGES of Having GUN over WIFE

Advantages of a GUN over WIFE

#10 – You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 – You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.

#8 – If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 – Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 – Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 – A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

#4 – Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 – A gun doesn’t ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?”

#2 – A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

#1 – You can buy a silencer for a gun

Do Men Remember Anniversaries

by bigboss in Jokes

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as she steps into the room, ‘Why are you down here at this time of night?’

The husband looks up from his coffee, ‘I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?’ he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

‘Yes, I do’ she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?’

‘Yes, I remember!’ said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. ‘Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?’

‘I remember that too’ she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, ‘Had I gone with second option, I would have been released today.‘