Vanilla Pudding

Excerpted from an article  which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank
robbery on March 2,1999:

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the
internal security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who  expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash
and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered
throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe’s combination, and inside they found -
only a bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded on the bank’s audio tape system,
one robber said, “At least we’ll have a bit to eat.”  The robbers opened up
a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The
process continued until all the safes were opened. They found not one pound
sterling, a single diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes
contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more
than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read:

“IRELAND’S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING”

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Perhaps Little Johnny

The teacher says, ‘Okay, class, we’re going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word ‘perhaps’ in it.’

Johnny says, ‘Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna pee on the piano.’

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