The Unlimited Fun
Archive for May, 2010
3 Blondes
by Anurag Bhatia
in Jokes
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!” The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his side profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up
with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds”… think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm…the suspect wears contact lenses.” The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer…wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does
in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?
“That’s easy,” the blonde replied.
“He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.
The 10 silliest things ever said by politicians
by Anurag Bhatia
in Jokes
Comedians would probably not exist without politicians, whose speeches have always been full of wisdom. Here is our rating of the 10 most stupid things ever said by politicians all over the world.
1. “Queen Elizabeth Taylor.” – Thai Prime Minister Banharn Silpa-archa, referring to the Queen of England.
2. “In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals, like in your country.” – Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, referring to the USA while addressing Columbia University.
3. “I would never approach a small-breasted woman.” – President Clinton, denying that he had sexually harassed Kathleen Willey.
4. “Life has become better, life has become more fun!” [«???? ????? ?????, ???? ????? ???????!»] Josef Stalin. The irony of this phrase is that he said it at the peak of mass repressions organized by him at the end of 1930s.
5. “I am not a communist and neither is the revolutionary movement.” – Fidel Castro. But he also said: “I am a Marxist-Leninist and I will be one until the last day of my life.”
6. “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” – Washington, D.C., August 5, 2004 – George W. Bush.
7. “This is a great day for France!” – President Richard Nixon at French President Charles de Gaulle’s funeral.
8. “I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go.” – Barack Obama at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon.
9. “We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.” – Nguen Co Thatch, Vietnamese Foreign Minister.
10. Senator John McCain in his presidential run: “I was in Germany over the weekend and President Putin of Germany gave one of the old Cold War speeches as he addressed the conference there.”
